Earlier this year I saw an Instagram post that said our 30s are about learning to revel happily in the things we discovered in our 20s but were too afraid to talk about because people would think we were weird. This is true for many aspects of my life, including my reading.
For a long time I’ve stuck with what’s popular or mainstream, even when I know it’s not going to be what I really want. I’ve shied away from exploring or discussing the books and topics I love (except on this blog) because they don’t always feel like things people would think I “should” be reading. I didn’t want to be labelled a weirdo for enjoying books about serial killers, abnormal psychology, and human sexuality.
But the older I get and the more of life I experience, the more it’s sinking in that life is too short to read books that don’t excite me. Fortunately I’ve been tracking and rating my reads for a couple of years, which means I have lots of data to dig into.What books did I love? Which missed the mark? And what themes or topics do my favorites have in common?
What I’ve learned has felt so validating. It turns out the things I was most focused on trying to read were not the right ones for me. No wonder I DNF’d so much and went through big reading slumps — I’ve been pulling from someone else’s TBR!
Out with the old, in with the odd
Knowing myself better (and accepting my natural inclinations) has drastically improved my reading life. My average book rating went from 2.7 stars in 2024 to 3.6 in 2025, and my DNFs went from 14 to 4. I’ve scrubbed my wish list of things I know I was never going to like; as a result, my TBR looks like it belongs to me and I’m enjoying reading more than ever. Toodaloo to epic fantasy, YA, and self-help/professional development — salutations to wild true crime (Hell’s Half-Acre), survival/exploration (The Wager), strange fiction (Piranesi), and niche history (The Domestic Revolution).
To be clear, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with the books I don’t enjoy. There are brilliant authors and stories across all genres, and I’m glad others get excited about them. I also make it a point to read outside my comfort zone, particularly for my book club. The purpose of such groups is often specifically to expand your reading horizons; I don’t think I’d have picked up Cloud Atlas, Circe, or Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine on my own, and each of these are anchor points in my reading journey.
These days I classify my ideal read as “macabre intellectual” — if it’s morbid, historical, wrapped up in a great story, or just a smidge odd, I’m in. Sourdough, The Change, and World War Z were amazing reads for me because they were smart, told beautifully, and looked at well-covered topics from new and interesting angles.
Read what you love, love what you read
It’s an unfortunate truth that we’ll never be able to read every book. Time is the one thing we can never get back, so make your reading a more joyful experience by focusing on what you enjoy instead of what you “should” be reading. DNF without guilt, skip genres that aren’t your jam, and be wildly enthusiastic about the books you love.
And if people think you’re weird, come sit by me.
Photo by Bruce Warrington on Unsplash
